Here I Am, Send Me

I've heard this phrase a lot lately. Actually in a couple songs. Great songs at that. We sing these words, think or pray them even...but can we grasp what they mean? I surely struggle with that fact that if I do pray them or admit that I am 'ready' to be sent, I actually don't feel ready at all.

Isaiah heard from the Lord "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" After having his sin purged he proclaimed those famous words. As soon as he did the Lord told him to go speak to the people. (chapter 6:6-9)

If we ask the Lord to send us, are we ready to speak to the people?

And being sent, do you imagine it being a far off place? Is it over-seas or across country? Sometimes I wish it were. Sometimes I wish I would hear God say "Are you ready Jeff, I'm sending you to West Africa. The place you want to go." But honestly, that's not how God works. I think when we ask God to send us, it very well could be where we already are. "Send me to the lost, or the sick or frail," we pray to God. Well for most of us, let's look inside our workplace. For me that is as far as I have to go, work.

At this point let me share some lyrics from Dustin Kensrue, lead singer of my favorite band Thrice. The song is called: The Messenger.

Mark me with fear and trembling, send someone else instead.
I know my world is ending; I can't repay my debt.
How can I carry such a heavy burden?
How can I move when I am paralyzed?
I see a fire behind a heavy curtain.
I lean in closer & I close my eyes & kiss the coals, breathe in smoke & I say

"Here I am, send me."

Lifts my soul, free & so unafraid.
Mark me with fire and send me among the living dead.
They cannot comprehend me, I watch the sickness spread.

How can they hear me when their hearts are hardened?
How can they see me when they close their eyes?
So then can tell me I'm an easy target.
A wooden saw is quite a way to die.

Kiss the coals; breathe in smoke. And I say:
"Here I Am, Send Me."

Sometimes I think this: how can they hear me, when the world has hardened their hearts? I work everyday with college students who are lost, they see no direction in life. Literally. They go to school with no means to an end. They're underage and yet they love to binge drink because everyone else does it. Or they surf everyday because they don't like school and hate their classes. Well I could go on, but for me when I ask to "Send me Lord" I am convicted that I have to look at where I am. But of course God can grant the desires of our hearts, and Leanna and I would love to serve in Africa someday. But He has us here now. This is where we are "sent."

I think the crux of this is what happened to Isaiah before he uttered those words. We should focus on this: his sins were purged. They were removed, atoned for, wiped out. He was clean before being sent. Think about that. Whoa.

Before we sing "Here I am Lord, Send Me," let us take a knee (or two) and ask for forgiveness. Ask God to purge your sin. Then as we model Isaiah, let as ask God to send us where He will...

I pray our hearts respond...

My Sin & My Spirit

I am perplexed by the idea that if sin in me is dead and my spirit is alive in Christ, how is that sin still remains? I am wrestling with this idea that I am in desperate need to feed my spirit and starve my flesh. But how? What can help me through all this? Do you ever find yourself at odds, desiring to do good, but finding that you still do evil? Of course. We all do... I have been reading Paul because I know he has the answers, I somehow I think he's an expert in this area...

I'm reading Romans 7 & 8...

7:9 - "I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. 10 The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. 11 For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. 12 So the law is hold, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good."

I'm trying to understand Paul in context to his upcoming verses. When we follow "law" we think we're alive, but really the sin deceives us and takes ahold of us. He then goes on to as

k if the "good" in me brings death? By no means he says..."It was the sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin..."

Ok...

7:14 - "...but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do no do what I want, but I do the very thing I Hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is not longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but no the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do know want is what I keep doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me."

So it seems to me that we have the answer. It's the sin in me that is dwelling and not the real me. No, that is not where we stop. We read on because I am not convinced that is going to help me understand who I am in Christ and the sin that is in me. Paul want us to understand the whole thing, not just part of it.

I'll summarize what Paul is saying in verses 21-25: We find that evil is always close at hand, but in our deepest part of our hearts we delight in the Lord. But of course other "members" of our body seem to wage war on us, keeping the fight going. He is frustrated by the fact that the war still wages in his body, but who can deliver him from this "body of death?" (That is exactly the turning point in our thinking. If we just stop at that fact that we know that it is sin in me, we tend to justify that sin, because it's "oh just sin in me, not really me." But Paul has got us to change our thinking...)

Paul's answer: 7:25 "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

See I wonder how many us think about the fact that we are dead to sin, but alive in Christ. I know I know that, but until it comes to fruition in mind and ultimately in my actions, we are continually trapped at "it's just the sin in me." But I am learning that we DO have to "renew" our minds daily. Change our thinking, change our mindset, turn our heads around... And more exciting is what Paul says in chapter 8...

8:9 - "You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you... 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."

Even a few verses later he says when we live by the Spirit we will LIVE. Our spirit is alive, it gives us Life. I have to continually wrap my mortal mind around that fact that my body - with all it's members that are trying to wage war - has to listen to the Spirit in me. Jesus and the power of his Holy Spirit does dwell in me, and my body has to respond to it. My body is dead. My Spirit is alive in Christ. And it's takes the renewing of my mind every day, every moment pretty much. It's hard work. It's a battle. We are at war, but we have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling inside us. That gives me hope, that gives me courage and now gives me new life to live for today.

(please add to, suggest or comment on this topic as we are all on this path...thanks!)