Alive Alone

I wrote this after a brief conversation with a friend...thinking outside myself.

Self, what is but a breath?
Self, what are steps aimless?
What are colors to my eyes?
Self, do you know your life?

What have I not seen
What have I not done
What have I not loved
What have I not hated
What have I not needed
What have I not heard
And what have I not said

Long have I lived to see pleasure
To see a perfect icon in which to measure
If all has been and all is done
Then self, you are nothing new under the sun

I know I thirst to which there is no end
I see days closing every night, they all seem to blend
Life and death soak my screen
But why aren't my thoughts ever clean?

I feel so plastic
but my heart bends as if elastic

Strumming my own strings without a tune
Because I am in need of feeling solitary doom
I am alive alone, but screaming at many
I will never find the meaning of plenty...

(I pray for those that feel alone and don't realize the gift of life awaiting at the feet of Jesus of Nazareth. He is plenty, we are in need of Him, even if you don't know him yet)

Our Purpose Today

I've been reading some of Paul's letters in the Bible as of late and I have found the first chapter of Ephesians to probably be the most intense chapter he's ever written. I could not get over this chapter; I've read it over and over and over again. I'm trying to figure it out, trying to figure out what Paul is saying. I've come to one conclusion: it's about PURPOSE.

There are many definitions of "purpose." Most people try to find their "purpose" in life. Ask your co-workers what their purpose is in life...you'll be surprised I'm sure. But we, are not most people. We are not the same. We have a true purpose.

Here's the dictionary definition: "the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists."

I believe - using that definition - that Paul answers that in the first chapter of Ephesians. We could dig and dig into everything he is saying, but that's not my intent. I want to discover or rediscover our daily purpose. And that is our goal is it not, to be daily renewed, daily engaged "in Christ"? It is for me - I suck at it - but I strive for it...

There are a few things I want to pull out of this chapter and share. First is to see what God's purpose is, or will or plan is... Verse 5 & 6 "he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." Paul used the words purpose and will together, but what are they: "to be the praise of his glorious grace." And this is what has caught my attention the most while reading this chapter...

Look down in verse 12 & 14: "so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory... the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory." Do we realize that we are to be that? We are to be the PRAISE OF HIS GLORY. I'm quite humbled thinking about that. I severely convicted at that thought of that. But with that conviction comes one thing: HOPE. We have to hold onto hope, which is Christ Jesus.

Today, in my devotional Oswald Chambers wrote about chapter 1 verse 18, that "you may know what is the hope to which he has called you..." I love how he starts this devotional:

"Remember what you are saved for - that the Son of God might be manifested in your mortal flesh. Bend the whole energy of your powers to realize your election as a child of God; rise to the occasion every time."

Later he writes and ends with this: "We have to exercise ourselves in order that the Son of God may be manifested in our mortal flesh. God never has museums. (I love that!) The only aim of the life is that the Son of God may be manifested... we are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what he wants. When we realize this, He will make us broken bread and poured-out wine to feed and nourish others."

What is our purpose today? Time today to refresh our memories. Let us be one thing: to be the PRAISE OF HIS GLORY. But how, you ask. By knowing your hope. By remembering your purpose, by allowing God to manifest himself in your life. Spending all your energy, all your capable power in bring Christ to life in your "mortal flesh." And as I'm writing these words, I am thinking of my own day, it's not easy; never is. Our hope, our Purpose, our Life is all because of Jesus Christ...

It's time to manifest him today.

What We Put In

This verse keeps coming to my mind lately:

Philippians 4:8 - "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." [ESV] (emphasis mine)

Other translations use the phrase "dwell on these things," "fix your thoughts," and even "meditate on these things."

Paul just got finished telling us to rejoice always, to not be anxious but pray to God, and that the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds. We have to do our part however, and that is what Paul tells us next. He says, "Finally, brothers..." As if it's the 'how-to' part that sums it all up. I love that about Paul.

I'm just so guilty of not thinking about such things. I'm plagued with this world. I shared the song lyrics of a Delirious song Kingdom of Comfort last time. It's true, I need saving from this kingdom of comfort where I am king. I think about myself so much, not enough about things that are honorable or praiseworthy. And why? Why do most of us think it's so tough? I have a conclusion...

We live in a Kingdom of DISTRACTION. American Christianity is so difficult because we don't teach to be UNdistracted. We don't preach enough of Philippians 4:8. We preach about making the gospel nice for those who don't have ears to hear. For the lost. But don't you remember Jesus saying "For those who have ears to hear...." Jesus was tough. "I have not come to bring peace, but a sword... Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:34, 39).

My point is that we have to get back to the BIBLE, and DO what it instructs. If you've ever traveled to a third-world country and you meet heart-felt, bible-doing Believers, you'll be inspired. You'll see a faith so strong. I'm sure you'll be almost jealous. When I've traveled to Benin and Liberia in West Africa I saw faith there that I will never see here in America. Despite their hardships, their faith was so strong and solid. But our western culture influences our faith. But why not their faith? One word: Distraction. We are distracted. Come on, America has everything the flesh could want. It's at our disposal. We are susceptible to everything Satan could have ever dreamed of to distract us from Jesus and His Truth. This means we have to be even more aware of what we're putting into our minds. It's our minds that control our actions. And the Spirit helps us control our minds. And thus the Spirit will help our actions when we... "think about these things..."

Our money, our jobs, our tv's, our iPod's and computers, our movies, they all distract us. (I am super guilty of this). But I have to come back to Philippians 4:8 in order to get a grip on what I'm putting in my mind. The more I think about purity, excellence and truth, the more my faith will grow and my love for Jesus will blossom and I will be "walking" with my Lord. And that's the goal isn't it? To walk with Jesus moment by moment...breath by breath...

Think about such things...it's the place to start.

Kingdom of Comfort

Save me, save me from the kingdom of comfort where I am king.
From my unhealthy lust of material things.
I built myself a happy home in my palace
On my own castle, falling in the sand
Pull me out, please grab my hand, I just forgot where I came from.

Save me, save me from the kingdom of comfort where I am king.
From my unhealthy lust of material things.
I rob myself of innocence with the poison of indifference
I buy my stuff at any cost
C couple clicks and I pay the price
Cuz what I gain is someone else's loss.

Save me, save me from the kingdom of comfort where I am king.
From my unhealthy lust of material things.

Save me, save me from the kingdom of comfort where I am king.
To the kingdom of heaven, where you are king.
-Martin Smith

Our Truth, Our Hope

"Sometimes our lives depend on that which we place Faith in. And sometimes Faith relies on whom we are depending." -Jeff La Villa

I was thinking about what it is like when we know the Truth (Jesus) and yet find our lives unfolding in such a way that has caused us to lose hope in the future. I know I talk a lot about being in the present - living for now - but sometimes when all you see is now, it can be discouraging to see what lies ahead. At times we may feel "stuck" where we're at and not see hope to a "brighter future."

The quote above has always stuck with me, ever since I heard it when I was about 15. We rely on Faith so much as Christ-followers, but sometimes are Faith can depend on what we're placing it in. Sometimes we do depend on our jobs to "provide," or our spouses or - of course - ourselves. We put faith in tangible things - like our bank account - to bring us "hope" for tomorrow. I'm a victim of thinking that, for sure. (And it can be discouraging to most.) But to be honest, that's the most foolish thing ever to think.

Let's look at "whom we are depending..."

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, 17 comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word. (ESV)

and probably one of the coolest verses ever:

1 Peter 1:3-5
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. (ESV) [How can that not get you pumped!?]

1 Peter 1:13
13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (ESV)

When we know the Truth, yet have no hope, how are we living? Literally. How? I have to believe that knowing the Truth and having Hope go hand-in-hand. Don't you? Do you believe that? Is that manifesting in our minds and in speech and actions? We know that Jesus is the Truth, we know him and now we are confident in His Hope, the one we all celebrated a couple weeks ago at Easter; hope in the conquering of sin, the resurrection of our Lord and our redemption.

When we set our minds on it, we know the Truth and we will know Hope. And we can fight through our days with confidence.

I pray that for all of you today...

Here I Am, Send Me

I've heard this phrase a lot lately. Actually in a couple songs. Great songs at that. We sing these words, think or pray them even...but can we grasp what they mean? I surely struggle with that fact that if I do pray them or admit that I am 'ready' to be sent, I actually don't feel ready at all.

Isaiah heard from the Lord "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" After having his sin purged he proclaimed those famous words. As soon as he did the Lord told him to go speak to the people. (chapter 6:6-9)

If we ask the Lord to send us, are we ready to speak to the people?

And being sent, do you imagine it being a far off place? Is it over-seas or across country? Sometimes I wish it were. Sometimes I wish I would hear God say "Are you ready Jeff, I'm sending you to West Africa. The place you want to go." But honestly, that's not how God works. I think when we ask God to send us, it very well could be where we already are. "Send me to the lost, or the sick or frail," we pray to God. Well for most of us, let's look inside our workplace. For me that is as far as I have to go, work.

At this point let me share some lyrics from Dustin Kensrue, lead singer of my favorite band Thrice. The song is called: The Messenger.

Mark me with fear and trembling, send someone else instead.
I know my world is ending; I can't repay my debt.
How can I carry such a heavy burden?
How can I move when I am paralyzed?
I see a fire behind a heavy curtain.
I lean in closer & I close my eyes & kiss the coals, breathe in smoke & I say

"Here I am, send me."

Lifts my soul, free & so unafraid.
Mark me with fire and send me among the living dead.
They cannot comprehend me, I watch the sickness spread.

How can they hear me when their hearts are hardened?
How can they see me when they close their eyes?
So then can tell me I'm an easy target.
A wooden saw is quite a way to die.

Kiss the coals; breathe in smoke. And I say:
"Here I Am, Send Me."

Sometimes I think this: how can they hear me, when the world has hardened their hearts? I work everyday with college students who are lost, they see no direction in life. Literally. They go to school with no means to an end. They're underage and yet they love to binge drink because everyone else does it. Or they surf everyday because they don't like school and hate their classes. Well I could go on, but for me when I ask to "Send me Lord" I am convicted that I have to look at where I am. But of course God can grant the desires of our hearts, and Leanna and I would love to serve in Africa someday. But He has us here now. This is where we are "sent."

I think the crux of this is what happened to Isaiah before he uttered those words. We should focus on this: his sins were purged. They were removed, atoned for, wiped out. He was clean before being sent. Think about that. Whoa.

Before we sing "Here I am Lord, Send Me," let us take a knee (or two) and ask for forgiveness. Ask God to purge your sin. Then as we model Isaiah, let as ask God to send us where He will...

I pray our hearts respond...

My Sin & My Spirit

I am perplexed by the idea that if sin in me is dead and my spirit is alive in Christ, how is that sin still remains? I am wrestling with this idea that I am in desperate need to feed my spirit and starve my flesh. But how? What can help me through all this? Do you ever find yourself at odds, desiring to do good, but finding that you still do evil? Of course. We all do... I have been reading Paul because I know he has the answers, I somehow I think he's an expert in this area...

I'm reading Romans 7 & 8...

7:9 - "I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. 10 The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. 11 For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. 12 So the law is hold, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good."

I'm trying to understand Paul in context to his upcoming verses. When we follow "law" we think we're alive, but really the sin deceives us and takes ahold of us. He then goes on to as

k if the "good" in me brings death? By no means he says..."It was the sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin..."

Ok...

7:14 - "...but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do no do what I want, but I do the very thing I Hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is not longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but no the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do know want is what I keep doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me."

So it seems to me that we have the answer. It's the sin in me that is dwelling and not the real me. No, that is not where we stop. We read on because I am not convinced that is going to help me understand who I am in Christ and the sin that is in me. Paul want us to understand the whole thing, not just part of it.

I'll summarize what Paul is saying in verses 21-25: We find that evil is always close at hand, but in our deepest part of our hearts we delight in the Lord. But of course other "members" of our body seem to wage war on us, keeping the fight going. He is frustrated by the fact that the war still wages in his body, but who can deliver him from this "body of death?" (That is exactly the turning point in our thinking. If we just stop at that fact that we know that it is sin in me, we tend to justify that sin, because it's "oh just sin in me, not really me." But Paul has got us to change our thinking...)

Paul's answer: 7:25 "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

See I wonder how many us think about the fact that we are dead to sin, but alive in Christ. I know I know that, but until it comes to fruition in mind and ultimately in my actions, we are continually trapped at "it's just the sin in me." But I am learning that we DO have to "renew" our minds daily. Change our thinking, change our mindset, turn our heads around... And more exciting is what Paul says in chapter 8...

8:9 - "You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you... 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."

Even a few verses later he says when we live by the Spirit we will LIVE. Our spirit is alive, it gives us Life. I have to continually wrap my mortal mind around that fact that my body - with all it's members that are trying to wage war - has to listen to the Spirit in me. Jesus and the power of his Holy Spirit does dwell in me, and my body has to respond to it. My body is dead. My Spirit is alive in Christ. And it's takes the renewing of my mind every day, every moment pretty much. It's hard work. It's a battle. We are at war, but we have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling inside us. That gives me hope, that gives me courage and now gives me new life to live for today.

(please add to, suggest or comment on this topic as we are all on this path...thanks!)